My bro has 2 wedding banquets coming up. I’m not even really, really doing anything and it’s stressing the hell out of me.

I never grew up imagining a dream weddings. Still don’t. I think wedding are the biggest waste of money ever in a person’s lifetime. Even as I have enjoyed attending weddings in the last few years, that conviction still holds.

If you asked me now what my dream wedding would be, I’d probably just say a small ceremony at church with family and close friends. We’d be in cheap, comfortable, casual clothes and we’d be married by a pastor we both respect and admire. It’d be short and quick but not in the sense of “just get it over because this is a waste of time” but “hurry because I want to be his wife already!” A simple reception would follow - imagine just catered lunch, a BBQ, or even hot pot! Because seriously, I still haven’t had a really deliciously enjoyable meal at the many banquets I’ve attended and they’ve been pricey. If its then late enough, then definitely some KTV because I have more fun making a fool of myself vocally than on a dance floor.

And no way do I want a >$10k engagement ring. I don’t even like jewelry to begin with. And seriously that is a lot of money that can be better invested in a car or house. Or even just to keep for a rainy day or even better - to be used to help people in need!

All in all, I think we’ve just added so many price tags on marriage - none of which are essential to nor do they contribute to the value or strength of a true, lasting marriage. Who actually says “oh yea, I stayed in love with my spouse because our wedding was super posh and my ring is more expensive than that new, used car”? Nobody respectable.

I think the popular/traditional way is beautiful and there really is much love and joy there. I also know people have actually grown up dreaming of that and I think it’s great that they get to realize their dreams. But it’s not my dream.

- Confessions of a weirdo who will probably be single for a very long time because people aren’t attracted to weird

I’m not one to remember events and performances. When I think of the past, I think of people and relational impacts. Timelines blur. I remember process and progress.

No one wants to help you when you are angry and miserable.